Republican Field: 2016

Carly Fiorina- with a new ad man or woman?

Mike Pence- 'coming right away dad!'

Scott Walker- 'I am not a crook.'

Mitt Romney- 'I love firing everyone except myself and women in binders.'

Ben Carson- the new more bloody, morbid version of Herman Cain

Alan Keyes- oh no oops, well he may as well if Carson is in there

Allen West- oh no, oops, well he may as well if Carson is doing it

Bill Cosby- oh no, oops, but if Carson is running, big deal

Mike Huckabee- Well, his name is Huckabee, so he has to be taken seriously; not like for instance
if his name were Huckleberry or something just as ordinary.

Rick Perry- because he is Republican, and not good at prime time...I love this...
.
Rick Santorum- because he is Rick 'of the saints', and he could foster more religious
fundamentalism in our pitifully secular country...

Jeb Bush- who so wonderfully helped Florida become a 'stand your ground state' and helped to cheat the 2000 national election...such historic things the man has done for America-

Mitch Daniels- Indiana has a big Klan influence. Daniels could work well with Senator Scalise.

Michelle Bachmann-  She can cure the gay.

Rand Paul- He loves to court minority votes. He just has little interests in serve minority interests.

Jimmy McMillan- Well he is still right after all these years. The rent is still too damned high.

Bobby Jindahl- he is one of the better Muslim candidates? Is his name Bobby?

Tim Pawlenty- What? He doesn't normally say rabid things. We can't have that.

Ted Cruz- Yes! The clown car. He loves to read aloud in the legislature, with vigor and expression about imaginary characters.

Marco Rubio- a Cuban who doesn't know his heritage but hates Cuba. We need loyalties like this in the White House.

Rick Snyder- He convinced a judge to admit Michigan has to provide students'  an education, period, not a 'good' education. America needs more slopped-up education, destruction of unions, erosion of voting rights

Bob Corker- one of the quieter conservatives

Jon Hunstman- oh my goodness, a gentleman, a family man, a statesman with a generous entrepreneurial dad, and a media star daughter...why in the world is He a Republican? And it shouldn't matter, but his wife is gorgeous. She could  be one of his daughters.

Lindsey Graham- doesn't know how his first name is spelled, but probably reads about the destruction
of Nagasaki and Hiroshima for his bedtime reading at night.

Susana Martinez- doesn't know how her first name is spelled.

John Kasich- helped create the monster legislature in Ohio which is now hard for him to manage.

Sarah Palin- creates so many jobs for Tina Fey and Saturday Night Live.

Jim Gilmore- didn't actually go to a coed university in Virginia, right?

Peter King- so rough around the edges...was he ever a beat cop for the NYPD?

George Pataki- ok, a bit worse than Andrew Cuomo (who's a bit of a DINO in my opinion) but the opposite of the great Mario Cuomo

Bob Ehrlich- he isn't anything like the current Governor of Maryland, right?

John Bolton- He could staff our government with neo-cons, and hold summits  on how to get away with more state torture and greater mounds of twisted lies.

     Have at it Democrats. Can you match these people?