I merely observe.
It seems to me men fail to marry a girl like the one dad married.
They often fail to marry the girl they know they will want to be good to forever.
Men have a distinct tendency, in my experience, to marry a woman like the mother their own mom
wanted but did not get.
I would imagine women too often do the same thing.
Whereas romantic marriages are so often truly warm and caring, the more choices a young person
has, the more likely they are to choose a marriage which will end coldly, continue coldly, wind up
in divorce- or even worse.
A person unconsciously goes out to comfort mom; but in real time, mom may think the universe is
rubbing her face in the thing she won't ever have- the mother she wanted, instead of the one she got.
I've also had so many women acquaintances who lament their sons striking a wife a girlfriend.
These women rebuke sons, saying, "How can you do this when you know how cruelly I suffered from being beaten?"
The son has no idea how he can do the thing he hated. However, if he was at an age where he didn't
believe he could protect mom, he incontrovertibly is unable to have a woman in his life he feels he may be elevating to a status above mom by making certain the woman doesn't get hurt.
Some children have seen enough kindness in childhood to resist ever doing to someone else what was
done to a parent living with the family.
Some, however, are never exposed to enough of that kindness to remedy what drives them as adults
unless they have a successful therapeutic relationship with a professional guide in adult life.
So many Americans are satisfied with believing the instantaneous motivation for a risky and
destructive behavior is the actual motivation for the behavior, because the instantaneous is so
prevalent, and so easily recognizable.
I doubt instantaneous is sum total of actual.
It seems to me men fail to marry a girl like the one dad married.
They often fail to marry the girl they know they will want to be good to forever.
Men have a distinct tendency, in my experience, to marry a woman like the mother their own mom
wanted but did not get.
I would imagine women too often do the same thing.
Whereas romantic marriages are so often truly warm and caring, the more choices a young person
has, the more likely they are to choose a marriage which will end coldly, continue coldly, wind up
in divorce- or even worse.
A person unconsciously goes out to comfort mom; but in real time, mom may think the universe is
rubbing her face in the thing she won't ever have- the mother she wanted, instead of the one she got.
I've also had so many women acquaintances who lament their sons striking a wife a girlfriend.
These women rebuke sons, saying, "How can you do this when you know how cruelly I suffered from being beaten?"
The son has no idea how he can do the thing he hated. However, if he was at an age where he didn't
believe he could protect mom, he incontrovertibly is unable to have a woman in his life he feels he may be elevating to a status above mom by making certain the woman doesn't get hurt.
Some children have seen enough kindness in childhood to resist ever doing to someone else what was
done to a parent living with the family.
Some, however, are never exposed to enough of that kindness to remedy what drives them as adults
unless they have a successful therapeutic relationship with a professional guide in adult life.
So many Americans are satisfied with believing the instantaneous motivation for a risky and
destructive behavior is the actual motivation for the behavior, because the instantaneous is so
prevalent, and so easily recognizable.
I doubt instantaneous is sum total of actual.
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